Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.

This is the greatest case of false advertising I’ve seen since I sued the movie “The Never Ending Story.” I prefer a vehicle that doesn’t hurt Mother Earth. It’s a go-cart, powered by my own sense of self-satisfaction.

You know, the one with all the well meaning rules that don’t work out in real life, uh, Christianity. …And the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night.

Dad didn’t leave… When he comes back from the store, he’s going to wave those pop-tarts right in your face!

Can’t you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can’t be policing the entire city! Ahoy hoy? Last night’s “Itchy and Scratchy Show” was, without a doubt, the worst episode *ever.* Rest assured, I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.

  1. I’ve had it with this school, Skinner. Low test scores, class after class of ugly, ugly children…
  2. Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
  3. How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?